I know I blab a lot. And sometimes I don’t make any sense. But this is a whole new level.
For a grown-ass woman such as myself, I cannot believe I still act like a love-struck teenager with a crush when I talk to a guy – okay, so maybe I like him a little. I am usually pretty confident and I get in “professional” mode when I talk to a guy… to hide my attraction.
I was on this hiatus (antisocial, depressive, moody) state – still am, when I got ecstatic over a small achievement. Finally, my car’s fixed. It may not be an achievement for others, but for me, who know nothing about cars, it’s an achievement.
Anyway, I plan to see my friends for coffee to celebrate my small / major achievement. I invited few people including this guy. Not exactly my idea but I played along. Besides, they said they want to meet on a weekday. I was the only one enthused. So here comes invites.
I then asked this guy thru text if we could do the “gathering” at his place. I was only expecting a text back but lo and behold, he called – asking when we want the “gathering” and who else are coming.
He caught me on a bad day. I was sleepy, haven’t had coffee, gibberish, I stuttered, I wasn’t making any sense, and I talk too fast. He was just quiet while I blab. I thought that’s it… I really blew my chance with this guy. He must think “what the hell is going on”.
Anyhoo, he was patient enough. He repeated, in his own understanding, what he thinks I was trying to convey. Well, he gets me.
Furthermore, after a few minutes of contemplation, I sent him a message of confirmation and blamed my blabbering state to sleep deprivation and no caffeine. And everything went well, for a while. But after days of planning, everyone cancelled- typical barkada plan.
I don’t know what it is with driven, put-together, knows-exactly-what-they-want, decent, Christian men that gets me weak in the knees? Duh! Of course I know. This guy makes me feel uneasy from the first day we met. I can’t make eye-contact and I’m uncomfortable.
Woman, better keep it together!!!